Phssssstttt….Whatever!!!

Today was my first official client meeting and it was with a “high dollar” client.  I got the scoop about my contact before the meeting.  I was told a number of things.

·         This Guy likes to embellish his professional experience

·         This Guy enjoys talking about himself

·         This Guy tends to talk down to others

Great…I am already looking forward to screwing with This Guy.

We arrive a few minutes late because Scottsdale Road is under so much construction that I felt the need to pull out my travel scissors and stab a worker in the neck, kick him in the balls and scream in his face yet, I refrained.

As we walk into the room I notice two additional nerds in attendance.

This Guy ends up looking like a clone of Eddie Haskel but with a NYC accent.

Nerd #1 is Fat Bastard from the classic Austin Powers flicks.

Nerd #2 is the spitting image of Ted Bundy but with greasy hair and I am pretty sure that he was asthmatic, I kept hearing a wheeze.

I reach out to shake Ted’s hand and he offers me not only a limp hand shake but a clammy shake.  Where in the hell was his hand prior to be touching my virgin hand?  Nasty!  I could not reach for my trial sized hand sanitizer so I wipe the sweat on my newly dry cleaned slacks.

This Guy is hilarious.  I can hardly look at him without thinking that at any minute he is going to compliment me and call me Mrs. Cleaver. 

Fat Bastard is gasping with every word that he speaks and Ted is sitting to my left staring at my shoulder for the entire meeting.

As we are winding up the meeting, This Guy explains that he does not do business with companies that expect half payment upfront.  Once he is happy with the final project then he will make the payment.

I am not sure what world this snake is living in but it is not the REAL WORLD.  I smiled at him and shook my head up and down while thinking to myself how I will be able to spin this to the owner of our company.

Fortunately, I have a knack for spinning things and guess what?  I will soon be on the receiving end of a fat commission check.

Sometimes, I just love myself. 

Please Voxers, pray for Fat Bastard and Ted tonight…. I think that they both need to get “some”…soon.