3 posts tagged “work”
As most of you know, I have my little quirks. I know this about myself but there are also things that others do that really rub me the wrong way.
One of those things is when someone walks closely behind me. I hate that! I need my personal space and if you invade it, I am gonna tell you.
I had morning appointments today so I show up at the office after lunch. I grab my purse and briefcase which is super heavy right now because I am lugging around my laptop. I had a water bottle that I needed to throw away so I am loaded down, Blackberry in the other hand and keys.
I start toward the building, there is a massive courtyard area and this little person (not like a midget or anything but he was quite short) comes out of the blue and begins shadowing me. This totally pisses me off.
My shoes are at at least four inches tall and I am walking as fast as I can to get Webster off of my ass. There was no one else around, he did not have to be so damn close to me. He was maybe three feet behind me and that is to close for comfort. The more I walked, the more I became annoyed.
What would any other red blooded American woman do in this odd situation? I don't really care, I will tell you what I did.
I stopped and he almost ran right into me. I turn my head and snap, "What gives? Get off my ass"....
He truly looked shocked, "What? I am, uh...um...I am sorry. I don't know where I am going and you look like you did".
I am thinking to myself, "Yeah I work here Arnold and there are about 30 other businesses in this building so what are the chances that we are going to the same place"... UGH!
Instead of barking at him I say, "Fine, where are you going?"
He tells me, I have no clue if this company is in this building but before I knew it this is what came flying out of my pie hole, "If you go straight through those doors and turn right you will see the office on your left".
What made me say such an outright lie? I guess I figured that it would give me enough time to run up the stairs and go into my office and he would never ever find me.
Boom! That is what you get when you close-follow me....STEP OFF!!!
Today was my first official client meeting and it was with a “high dollar” client. I got the scoop about my contact before the meeting. I was told a number of things.
· This Guy likes to embellish his professional experience
· This Guy enjoys talking about himself
· This Guy tends to talk down to others
Great…I am already looking forward to screwing with This Guy.
We arrive a few minutes late because Scottsdale Road is under so much construction that I felt the need to pull out my travel scissors and stab a worker in the neck, kick him in the balls and scream in his face yet, I refrained.
As we walk into the room I notice two additional nerds in attendance.
This Guy ends up looking like a clone of Eddie Haskel but with a NYC accent.
Nerd #1 is Fat Bastard from the classic Austin Powers flicks.
Nerd #2 is the spitting image of Ted Bundy but with greasy hair and I am pretty sure that he was asthmatic, I kept hearing a wheeze.
I reach out to shake Ted’s hand and he offers me not only a limp hand shake but a clammy shake. Where in the hell was his hand prior to be touching my virgin hand? Nasty! I could not reach for my trial sized hand sanitizer so I wipe the sweat on my newly dry cleaned slacks.
This Guy is hilarious. I can hardly look at him without thinking that at any minute he is going to compliment me and call me Mrs. Cleaver.
Fat Bastard is gasping with every word that he speaks and Ted is sitting to my left staring at my shoulder for the entire meeting.
As we are winding up the meeting, This Guy explains that he does not do business with companies that expect half payment upfront. Once he is happy with the final project then he will make the payment.
I am not sure what world this snake is living in but it is not the REAL WORLD. I smiled at him and shook my head up and down while thinking to myself how I will be able to spin this to the owner of our company.
Fortunately, I have a knack for spinning things and guess what? I will soon be on the receiving end of a fat commission check.
Sometimes, I just love myself.
Please Voxers, pray for Fat Bastard and Ted tonight…. I think that they both need to get “some”…soon.
I started the new job on Monday and so far so good until today.
The owner of the company hands me a list of leads in the medical industry that he has been in contact with over the last 6 months and wanted me to follow up. Sounds easy enough? That is what I thought.
I was listening to some old Sheryl Crow motoring along and feeling good about my progress when I get a reply from a decision maker at a certain company that I will fake title, Southwest Regional Prostate Institute for this blog only.
The first line was filled with
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
To myself, I am thinking that is not really the response I am looking for but, whatever. I read father down.
Ms. Hill:
Thank you for your email, I must admit that it made me smile this afternoon. Please re-read your message and reply. Then, we can talk business.
Mr. Medical President
I am thinking WTF did I write? I have emailed some stupid shit in the past and one time even told a vendor that "I love you" at the end of a message because I was talking to my husband on the phone while typing but I know that I would never repeat that mistake. Nervously I read the subject line which is fine but the first line read:
"Are you looking to upgrade the current technology at Southwest Regional Prostitute Institute?
Now how one can confuse the words "Prostate" and "Prostitute" are unknown but I did it. See the photographs if you, yourself are unclear.
Prostate
Prostitute
I felt about 2.5 inches tall but when I called the very nice Medical President to apologize. He actually took it very well and said that I was not the first to make the typo but it has been a while.
I am working on day 3 and I make this mistake? What is going to happen in 3 months? I bet I substitute "infrastructure" for "in-FUCKstructure". WOWZA!
